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October 29 2006
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WEEK OF OCTOBER 29th, 2006

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Following New York Times appearance, Deily struggles to repair "street credibility."

Profile in Sunday Business Section deemed
"not exactly punk as f*ck."

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All the news that fits, they print. It would appear. (NYT)

PORTLAND, Maine--Anxious to quash growing allegations that he has "fervidly embraced the Establishment with the lust of a $10 crack whore," former Lemonheads co-founder Ben Deily today lashed out at his critics, maintaining that he is "still every inch a degenerate, good-for-nothing slacker."

"I am still an angry, nihilistic rebel, and will always remain an angry nihilistic rebel," a defensive Deily quipped to reporters. "What, are you guys blind? Can't you see that I'm wearing a dagger-shaped earring? Huh?"

Deily has come under fire since his appearance last Sunday in the New York Times Business section (pictured at left)--under the heading of "SUITS"--in a brief article entitled "Taking Care of Business." In the piece, Deily offers reporter Jeremy Peters a brief apologia pro vita, explaining--among other things--his recent move to advertising agency the VIA Group, and childhood aspiration to work in an office "like [his] grandfather."

At a hastily-called press conference, Deily--dressed ostentatiously in a ripped "FLIPPER" t-shirt, black leather jacket and safety-pinned jeans--confronted reluctant reporters with multi-media "PowerPoint" presentation, replete with bar-graphs and pie charts enumerating his punk rock bona fides.

"If I might direct your attention to slide 5, figure 2...this trend line clearly illustrates that...are you people even paying attention at all?" growled an increasingly addled Deily. "Aw, forget this. I have a 3 o'clock conference with a cranky CMO. Hell with you people. Tory, what's my call-in number?"

He has him a business card.
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Yes, he does.

When asked if his current status as a New York Times-recognized "business person" might threaten his recent induction into canonical Punk status by MOJO magazine (as co-creator of one of the "77 greatest Punk albums"), Deily scoffed. "I'd like to see 'em try. I have lawyers, you know. Heaps of 'em. I'll fight this thing to the last dollar in my vast, corporate coffers. I mean, er, the last penny in my scuffed rock & roll piggy bank. Yeah, that's the ticket."

Neither the New York Times, Deily's employers, nor the erstwhile Punk Rock youth of the world had further comment as of press time.

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"Talk to the statuettes, 'cause the guy in the Aeron ain't listening":
Deily at "work."

NEWS archive...