WEEK OF JUNE 26, 2005
|Breathtaking creature; cretinous Deily, inset (AP)
Breathtaking Deer "Probably Animatronic," Says Deily
Avatar of nature's unknowable majesty baffles media-addled 30-something
THE EAST BAY -- His mind and senses stripped by years of exposure to electronic depictions of reality, Ben Deily found himself
confounded today by the appearance of a stunningly beautiful fawn, mere feet from his bedroom window.
"What th-" exclaimed the befuddled wage-slave, startled from the reverie of reading HARPER'S magazine. "Holy
crap..." added the inarticulate East Bay resident, watching as -- with a primal majesty which language cannot hope to
convey -- the yearling buck gazed unflinchingly at him.
After a few moments of vacant silence -- in what experts ascribe to "an atrophied sense of wonder" -- Deily
began to speculate as to the provenance of this awe-inspiring presence, which he referred to as "that BAMBI-thing."
|Glorious "embodiment." (UPI)
"Is it animatronic? It's probably animatronic..." the stunned advertising copywriter stammered.
"I mean, I guess it's being operated wirelessly...yeah, you could fit two puppeteers behind the garden wall. Boy,
that's lifelike. Wonder if it's something they're field testing for ILM..." (Industrial Light & Magic, the George
Lucas-founded special-effects company, is located in San Rafael -- scant miles from Deily's home.)
Not unlike the unnamed protagonist in famed American poet Robert Frost's "The Most of It" -- who is confronted
by an "embodiment" appearing as "a great buck" -- Deily found himself, on some deep level, unequal to
Experts remain uncertain as to whether this was a result of his incessant bombardment by increasingly sophisticated, technologically-generated
representations of natural phenomena, or from a simple lack of capaciousness in Deily's typically shriveled, self-seeking
"Oh, c'mon, that was a prop, right? Or some kind of promotional stunt?" Deily mumbled. "I mean, it had
to be some kind of practical effect right?"
"I mean...it..." Deily offered as a final speculation, "it couldn't...it wasn't completely DIGITAL, was
IN OTHER NEWS:
Only creators of "Batman Begins" truly understand my pain,
RELIGION: Doctrine of "transubstantiation" still just plain icky