WEEK OF JULY 10, 2005
|San Francisco Center; ecumenical Ben, inset (photo-I. Narges)
Deily Has "Absolutely No Problem At All, Whatsoever" With Scientology
Former "musician" has no quarrel with vast, slightly menacing religious organization
SAN FRANCISCO -- In a carefully-worded statement, Ben Deily announced today that he is "totally cool with the Church
Of Scientology. Honest."
"Given the recent media attention given to Tom Cruise, and the attendant public interest in the Church of Scientology,
I felt it was important at this time to restate unequivocally my utterly equivocal stance on this huge, shadowy, well-funded
and terrifying entity."
Clarifying his attitude toward the worldwide religion inspired by the late L. Ron Hubbard, Deily hastened to add that
he "really hasn't got anything at all to say, one way or the other, about the whole thing. At all."
|Cruise, that other dude: good for them!
Deily -- who describes himself as a "big, huge fan" of famed Scientologists John Travolta and Isaac Hayes -- added
that he "would never, ever" seek any dispute with an organization that enjoys such a well-documented reputation
for ruthless smear campaigns, crippling lawsuits, and the remorseless pursuit and destruction of all perceived enemies.
"I mean, true or not, the stories are enough to scare anybody," Deily stammered, smiling nervously. "Which
is why I have no opinion. About Scientology. Er, that is, Dianetics. They're not quite the same, right? You know, forget I
Asked whether he is concerned that the use of words like "Scientology" and "Dianetics," on his website
might lead Church of Scientology-operated sifting programs -- which reportedly comb the internet's millions of sites ceaselessly
looking for flagged keywords -- to identify bendeily.com for potential targeting, Deily looked stunned. "They can do
that? No way. Oh, f**k me."
As of press time, the intimidating, mystery-shrouded "free personality test"-dispensing religious entity in
question has not been reached for comment.